Ben Montana

Hey, everyone.

I made a video for this Arby's contest. If I win, I become famous and get free Arby's. Which would make me very happy. So... If you don't mind, please sign up and cast a vote. You can view my awesome video and vote here:

(http://www.rescuebrigadeaudition.com/video/view/12)

If you really want to help, vote every day!

If you have problems signing in... Try using your email address and password (instead of your username) because Arby's authentication system sucks balls.

Also, I promise to finish the ants comic as soon as possible.

~~Ben

Murder Party

This evening, I saw the best movie I've ever seen in my entire life. It's called Murder Party. (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0878695/)

We rented it on a whim for our weekly movie night. It was either this or Idiocracy. The coin told us to pick Murder Party. It was one of the best overall decisions we've ever made to date. I laugh a lot at a lot of things, but this movie, by far, has made me laugh more and harder than ever before.

It's an independent film by a group called The Lab of Madness. The cover of the DVD bares a chainsaw-wielding nerd dressed in a cardboard knight costume. The back describes it as a mix between Napoleon Dynamite and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. I'm hear to tell you that it's far better than both.

The story follows a loser named Chris who finds an open invitation to a "Murder Party" on Halloween. He's bored and has no friends, so he decides to make a knight costume from cardboard and duct tape. Upon arriving at the old warehouse, he is assaulted and held captive by a small group of art school students who plan to murder him in the name of art.

I immediately identified with the lead character. He's lonely. He has an alarm on his watch that tells him to take his medication. And he makes stuff out of duct tape and cardboard. This is me in 5 years.

The other characters were beautifully personified. In this group of artfags, I saw the people I got to know in the college of arts, and the people I used to hang out with in high school, and the people who hang out in the honors lounge. If there was an archetype for art students, these characters would fit that perfectly.

The first half of the movie does well to set the morbidly funny tone of the film, introduce the characters and establish the plot. It also openly satirizes the pretentious, self-absorbed fakeness of the artfag community. Everything I hate about art students is openly mocked and shown in a light that I can only describe as "It's funny because it's true."

In the second half, the pace quickens and the focus switches from humor to gore. Most of the cast gets killed off in a fantastic bloodbath. Because there are fewer characters who are able to speak, the film makers are free to showcase their outstanding special effects work. The physical comedy, combined with the amazing blood and guts make-up, causes the movie to remain obscenely funny despite the waning dialog.

I wouldn't call it a horror flick, but it's not strictly a comedy. Maybe a dark comedy? Whatever it is, it blends the two genres seamlessly. The inane plot, colorful characters and fantastic gory special effects make this something special. I'll definitely be picking up a copy for my personal library. I recommend that you do the same.

Until next time,

~~Ben

P.S.: Lexi's pussy screamed at me. VAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!

The Poonheads Short Film

David is an English major. He writes stuff. He used to write plays. Now he just writes creatively. This semester he's in a Screen Writing class.

His latest assignment was to eves drop on a conversation and using that bit of dialog, write a short film that is completely unrelated to it. This is relevant because he eves dropped on me and Thomas and used that dialog to create a Poonheads Short Film.

As you may or may not know, Poonheads came into being because of an idea we had for a movie. That idea has long since been scrapped, but it's interesting to see another movie version take shape.

The plot revolves around our three comic heroes Ben, Pillboy, and Sterling. After a short conversation on the Ugly Pink Couch, we discover that Sterling has a big date tonight. The film cuts to tonight where Sterling and his date are trying to have dinner. Attached to Sterling's forehead is a camera and in his ear, a radio transceiver. Both are transmitting to a van parked down the street. In the van, Ben and Pillboy attempt to coach their friend through his date. Hilarity ensues.

Sure, the whole Cyrano de Bergerac shtick has been done to death, but David manages to breathe new life into in true Poonheads fashion. I nearly lost my shit when I read it.

Unfortunately, there is no actual movie yet. It's just an 8 page screen play draft. David says that his instructor will choose one screenplay from his class to produce next semester in a Production class. I would love to see this be made into a movie. I would especially love to see it be acted by actors other than ourselves. It would be really funny.

And if it doesn't get made, I would have no objection to taking on the task myself. it's short and seems like it would be fairly easy to produce, given that we can find a pretty girl to play Sterling's date.

Also, it's tentatively titled "The Poonheads Get Some". The title alone should make you want to see it. And if it doesn't, it's probably because you suck.

Until next time,

~~Ben

P.S. Kitten: (http://gigglesugar.com/682002)