I like knives. I've been attracted to knives since I was a kid. There's just something about them that appeals to me.
I suppose it could be argued that it's some kind of latent homosexual tendency because of the phallic nature of the knife, but that argument could be made for a lot of things. I think it's more of a nerd thing rather than a gay thing. It would be one thing if I were a hunter who hunted and stuff, but I'm not. So it must be because I'm a nerd. For some reason, nerds tend to be attracted to knives and swords and guns. Nobody really knows why.
I feel so ashamed when I walk past the knife case at Wal-Mart or Academy and pause for a minute to look at the new Bucks. I try my hardest to be non-nerd in public, but it's so difficult sometimes. It's embarrassing, but sometimes you just can't hide who your are.
So, why knives over guns or leather thongs? Sure. As weapons, they're not as effective as guns, but I can't say I've ever been in a gun fight. Guns, however, are illegal in Russian knife fights, so I'd say it evens out. And leather thongs tend to make my balls hurt. I think the thing I like most about knives is the utility. You can do lots of things with knives. Like cut things. And if it's a Swiss-Army knife, you can uncork wine bottles. But mainly, you can cut things.
So, anyway. I like knives. I own a lot of knives. I have big knives and small knives. Some of them were really expensive. Others... not so much. In fact, out of all the knives I own, the one I use the most is a cheap, single blade tactical folder.
It's about 4 inches closed, 7 inches open. It's mostly stainless steel with cheap plastic grips glued onto the sides. It's got a pocket clip on the backside, which I never use because it sits on my desk where I'll always know where it is. The thumb post (which can be changed around for left-handed use) allows for one-handed opening, but I've loosened the action so that I can flick it open rather easily without using the thumb-post. It's a locking blade, but it won't lock unless I flick it open real hard. The clip point blade is partially serrated which makes cutting through cardboard really easy.
I mostly use it as a letter opener, but it lends itself to general desk type cutting. It cuts tape, sharpens pencils, opens packages and cleans fingernails. In a pinch, I suppose I could kill a bear with it, but I rarely get attacked by bears. And I've got other knives that would be better suited for that purpose, anyway. Also, it gives me something to play with while I thinking of something to write about.
So, it's not a super good knife (it's not even very sharp), but I like it. I'd probably be lost without it and if ever it gets lost in my seat cushion or under my keyboard, I would probably cry.
I've said all I can say about this particular knife. I have others, though. I'll probably discuss the rest of my collection in more detail in the future because coming up with new and exciting things to write about ever day is really tough. Regular features make my life a lot easier. So, look forward to future knife write ups.
Until next time,
~~Ben
