Hershey's Chocolate Syrup is a pretty amazing thing. As someone who enjoys chocolate very much, I know this from experience. You can put it on just about anything. Or everything. Very few things can boast of this ability. Honey and Cheese are the only other two that I can think of off the top of my head. Neither of those, however, contain chocolate.
I put chocolate syrup on all sorts of things. I've been known to put it on cereal in the morning. On waffles. Toast. Ice cream. I put it in Coke. And everyone puts it in milk. As far as chocolate milk goes, the only thing that could even try to rival Hershey's syrup is Nestle's Quick. They don't have to be mutually exclusive, however. You can use both. And they're in separate leagues all together... one's a syrup and the other a powder.
Apart from the temptation to drink straight from the bottle, there's only one negative to be found with chocolate syrup:
The Cap.
As long as I can remember, chocolate syrup came in a curved brown bottle with a white and black pull top with a clear lid. Much like a sports bottle. Or a Poon Jug, for that matter. There is no good reason that this type of cap should have ever graced the top of a Hershey's bottle.
There are many methods for dealing with this type of cap in relation to Hershey's bottles. One method is to do as you would with a sports bottle. Pop off the clear lid stick the cap in your mouth and pull it open with your teeth. This is good if you live alone or enjoy drinking it straight. It's not so good for anything else.
My preferred method is as follows:
1) Remove the bottle from the fridge.
2) Remove the clear lid and place it on the counter. After several uses, the rim of the cap will be covered in chocolate and will leave a delicious brown ring on the counter top.
3) Grip the brown top with thumb and index finger.
4) Pull up, opening the cap.
5) Lick up all the syrup that is now covering your fingers from opening the cap.
6) Apply syrup to its destination.
7) Replace clear cap.
8) Put bottle on counter top.
9) Smack top of clear lid, which pushes down the brown cap, closing the bottle, while at the same time smears excess syrup all over the inside of the cap.
10) Return to fridge.
This is super messy.
A couple of months ago, I went to the fridge to fetch my Hershey's syrup when I discovered that all of these issues had been solved in a brand new high-tech cap design (http://www.hersheys.com/syrupcap/capology.aspx) . I was elated. With this new cap design, the efficiency my syruping process was greatly improved:
1) Remove bottle from fridge
2) Flip open cap
3) Pour syrup
4) Close cap
5) Return to fridge
No mess. No wasted effort. No wasted chocolate. One less thing for me to lose sleep over.
Weeks later, I returned to the fridge for another round of syrupy goodness. The previous bottle had been emptied and in its place was a brand new, freshly opened bottle. With the old cap design. My heart dropped. My hands trembled as I reached for the antiquated receptacle.
Why and how could they return to such an inefficient piece of garbage when the benefits of the new cap were so obvious? I poured my syrup and stirred my chocolate milk. I replaced the bottle and walked through the living room, pausing for a moment, looking into my cup.
"If I ever find the guy who changed the Hershey's cap back to the old style, I'll kill him. Mark my words."
Glenn looked up at me and said, "What the hell are you talking about?" I retold the story of chocolaty horror, to which he replied, "That's probably just an old bottle that we found in the back of the cabinet.
I was visibly relieved. The R&D department at Hershey's was saved for the moment. No one would have to die today. The world made sense again. If only for a little while.
Until next time,
~~Ben
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