I'd like to say that my colloquial lexicon is larger than most but every now and then I hear something that I have honestly never heard before.
Recently, several of my coworkers discovered my Facebook profile. Generally, someone finding my Facebook is not a big deal. Unfortunately, when someone you work with finds it... things can get crazy fast. Especially when that coworker is Stephen.
The other day, I ran into him in the kitchen at work. The first thing he did was complement me on my glorious mustache. This is odd because I don't wear my mustache at work.
"What?" I asked. "Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about" he replied. That's when I learned that he had discovered my Facebook. No big deal. Then he used a phrase that was altogether new to me. You see, Stephen comes from some crazy foreign land where they use terms that no one anywhere else on the planet uses.
Cookie Duster.
This caught me by surprise. Sure, it could mean simply that my mustache was so awesome that it dusted the tops of cookies when I ate them. But I have a dirty mind. And in my experience, Stephen also has a dirty mind. In general, everyone I work with has a dirty mind, so I guess I fit in pretty good there.
So, I got to thinking. What could "Cookie Duster" mean? Well... I have heard, on multiple occasions, the word "cookie" used to describe a vagina, not dissimilar from "cooter", "cooch", or "twat". With that in mind, "dusting a cookie" must mean something like "dusting a vagina". ... In order to dust a vagina with a mustache, one's mustache must be close to the vagina. Usually, the only time a mustache is near a vagina would be during a "mustache ride", which we all know is a euphemism for cunnilingus. It all started fitting together. Taking into account the source of the new phrase, this was the only logical explanation.
My suspicions were further qualified by a later conversation in which the size of my mustache was called into question. It was, indeed, a fine mustache. Large enough for dusting the largest of cookies. In context, it sounded a lot dirtier. Especially when followed by a description of Scott licking his eyebrows.
Of course, I could be wrong. Unlikely, though. Having such a fantastic soup strainer makes it hard to be wrong.
Until next time,
~~Ben
Wisdom Archive
- August 2008 (2)
- July 2008 (2)
- June 2008 (3)
- May 2008 (3)
- April 2008 (4)
- March 2008 (7)
- February 2008 (6)
- January 2008 (1)
- December 2007 (3)
- November 2007 (9)
- October 2007 (26)
- August 2007 (1)
- June 2007 (1)
- May 2007 (1)
- March 2007 (1)
- February 2007 (2)
- December 2006 (4)
- November 2006 (4)
- October 2006 (5)
- September 2006 (2)
- August 2006 (1)
Categories
- poonheads (22)
- music (17)
- comic (16)
- site news (12)
- coding (11)
- Classic Wisdom (10)
- video (10)
- I Love Music (9)
- javascript (9)
- photo (9)
- rant (8)
- tutorial (8)
- web design (8)
- hardware (7)
- hobby (7)
- mustaches (7)
- gear (6)
- horrifying (6)
- story time (6)
- earworm (5)
- food (5)
- art (4)
- software (4)
- Coding for Complete Noobs (3)
- movie (3)
- Captain Numbskull (2)
- Everyday Wisdom (2)
- beverage (2)
- knives (2)
- review (2)
- toys (1)
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Cookie Duster
Labels:
mustaches,
story time